(Un)Common Courtesy

According to a 2008 estimate, Simpsonville, Kentucky—the town where I live—has a population of about 1,436 people. Dining out choices, as you may well imagine, are limited, but I am glad we have a Subway, where I can at least attempt to eat a bit healthier when I'm so inclined. Adding to the healthy mix is the new avocado spread introduced this month.

This past Saturday night, Kathy and I ran by our local Subway to grab a sandwich to take home. The $5 footlong special for the month of June was some kind of chipotle chicken sandwich, so we decided to get one of those to split. We had been at the church that evening, had only eaten a few snacks, and this was to be a late-night bite to eat a bit later than we normally enjoy having dinner. The Subway closes at 10 PM. We walked in at 9:40 and noticed all the chairs already stacked on the table. This was not a problem as we were planning to take our sandwich home with us.

One other customer was at the counter in front of us, and while we waited, I noticed a sign on the sandwich toaster that indicated it was not working. When we were ready to place our order, I told the teenage-looking girl behind the counter that we wanted to try the chicken sandwich on special, but wondered whether it was usually toasted since we'd noticed the toaster out of order. I observed the body language on the young girl change as she immediately shifted into a defensive mode. She apologized profusely about the toaster. She even said she could microwave the chicken and cheese and then add it to the sandwich if we liked.

To me, microwaved food is never preferable, but suddenly I had an idea. I looked at Kathy and said, "Since we're taking this with us, we could toast it ourselves in the oven at home, right?" Kathy agreed, stating that was a perfect idea, and she asked the Subway employee if it would be possible to put some of the vegetables in a side container to add after we toasted it.

Then an older employee came out of the back room, having evidently heard our exchange. "You two are the sweetest couple," she said. I've always thought Kathy and I were great together, so I just assumed she was speaking of us in a general way. :-)

But she went on. "We've had people come in here all day and get so upset at us for having a broken toaster. Some customers have yelled at us as if we did something to break it! You two are the only ones this entire day who have been nice about it."

Kathy and I were both a bit stunned. "You're kidding," I said. "It's not your fault if equipment fails. Why would folks get angry with you? And Subway didn't even have toasted sandwiches until a couple of years ago!"

They were genuinely appreciative of our reaction and response. We were "rewarded" for our civility with free cookies (which kind of defeated the purpose of trying to eat healthy, although we did not refuse them) and extra avocado spread for the sandwich.

Now, please understand me. I'm not telling you all of this to pat myself on the back or to try to make us look like models of equanimity. I assure you that we can both have our moments of grumpiness and selfish behavior. But I'm really surprised that in a town our size (although, granted, there would be a lot of interstate business, too), no one else would react with common courtesy to a situation that was clearly not the fault of the employees. It's a fact of reality that equipment eventually fails—all equipment. I wouldn't expect any establishment to have an extra toaster oven in the back in case the one in use fails. That would simply not be cost-efftective. And a non-toasted sandwich is not the end of the world. The majority of the sandwiches at Subway are fine without being toasted.

Simpsonville has almost literally a church on every corner with five found within city limits. Again, I'd like to blame poor behavior on interstate traffic, but I know that can't exclusively be the case. People in food service have my utmost respect. I worked in a McDonalds for only three weeks as a teenager. That was enough for me to know I wasn't cut out for that kind of a job—it's highly stressful even when all the equipment is working correctly. It bothers me that customers would show poor attitudes and take their frustrations out on employees who weren't responsible for the problem at hand.

Now, if you're a Christian reading this, you really have to choice in these kinds of matters. As Paul wrote to the Colossians, we have an obligation to be courteous to others: “Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time. Your speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person” (Col 4:5–6, HCSB).

But even if you're not a Christian, I would hope to appeal to any reader on the basis of a shared desire for civility (a lost virtue in our culture if there ever was one). The word civil is the root of the word civilization, and a loss of one will lead to the loss of the other. It doesn't help that we live in a technological culture where people hide behind computer screens and say things to each other virtually that they would never say in person, or that all of our primetime news networks feature one show after another where people yell at each other rather than disagreeing in a civil and courteous manner.

We make the world a better place with one conversation, one encounter at a time. There's simply no room for treating each other discourteously over nonsense as inconsequential as a sandwich—or whatever other petty matters come our way in the day.